Jealousy and Its Modifications

Jealousy is a form of continuous anger. Irshaya (=envy) is a form of jealousy. It is a form of hatred. Blaming, accusing, mocking, ridiculing, unjust criticism, censure, vilifying, tale-bearing, backbiting, fault-finding, complaining --- all proceed from jealousy, either subtle or gross, a hatred of various sorts. They all indicate lack of proper mental culture and meanness of the person. They should be removed. 

Taunting is to censure sarcastically. Teasing is to torment or irritate with jests. Sneering is to show contempt by the expression of the face, as by turning up the nose. Frowning is to wrinkle the brow as in anger. Mocking is to laugh at in ridicule, to mimic in ridicule. Ridiculing is to make a wit exposing one to laughter. It is derision or mockery. It is exposing one to merriment. A joke is a clever insult. You must avoid all these when you move with others, as they cause rupture between friends, heated feelings and a sense of hostility. Words must be soft and arguments hard; if words are hard, they will bring discord. A single harsh word will break the friendship of long years in a minute. Word or sound has got tremendous power. It is Shakti.
 
There is a world of difference between “Just comments” and Ninda (=Censure). ”Just comments” is not Ninda. It is permissible. It is unavoidable too. You can avoid it only when you shut yourself alone in a far-off Himalayan cave. If you have no hatred for a man, if you are not jealous of him and if you point out to your friend in the course of conversation his weaknesses and good virtues also --- “Mr. Thomas is an honest, loving, kind, sympathetic man. He is humble. He speaks the truth. But, he is extremely irritable and hot-tempered." --- this is not Ninda (=censure) at all, although you point out the defect of Mr. Thomas. In Ninda, you abuse a man. You point out his defects only. You exaggerate his weaknesses. You point out the defect to everybody of your own accord without being asked. In your heart of hearts, you are jealous of the man. You want to vilify him.
 
If you always look into the faults of others, you will actually absorb those faults by constantly thinking of them. Always look into the bright side of a man. Ignore his defects. Hatred will vanish. Love will increase. 

Fault-finding, cavilling and scandal-mongering are defects. Defects and weaknesses are two distinct qualities. Anger is a defect. Tea-habit is a weakness. To be over-sentimental is a weakness. Both defects and weaknesses should be removed by substituting the opposite virtues.

(pgs. 235-236, "Mind---Its Mysteries and Control" by Swami Sivananda)